We all hold beliefs about ourselves. Some are true, some are not.  Many have been there a very long time.  As human beings, we all shoulder some burden of self-doubt:  the fear that we’re imposters, not good enough, smart enough, worthy of love, or perhaps, that we have a tinier brain than everyone else.    Even the best leaders among us have minds that generate irrational fears of inadequacy.  Effective leaders have the discipline to listen to their internal critic, but then provide balance with a realistic appraisal of their strengths and shortcomings.

Leaders can create the conditions to help people inspire their own change. Good leaders know they are working with other humans beings.  We all have unique gifts that are usually offset by corresponding weaknesses.  And, we are not programmable robots. When our behaviors need to change, the reprograming needs to come from within, not because someone else wants us to. The best leaders — and partners — help a person create that motivation.

There’s a saying among coaches that ‘you are only as good as your clients.’ This is overly simplistic. In reality, a coach is only as good as their client is coachable. ‘Receiving coaching,’ like ‘providing coaching’ is a skill, and both require disciplined practice. A good coach ensures that this skill is developed in their coachee.  It is the same for leaders coaching direct reports: A good coachee is as essential as a good coach.